Hate’s a Lonely & Boring Identity

[This is part of our Meme Factory project.]

Link: https://www.nytimes.com/2020/07/17/opinion/white-supremacy-hate-movements.html
[“White Supremacy Was Her World. And Then She Left.” by Seyward Darby, published Friday, 7/17/2020 in the NY Times. The article is adopted from her forthcoming book, Sisters in Hate: American Women on the Front Lines of White Nationalism.]

Synopsis of article: The article gives an overview of the author’s experiences interviewing and researching US American women involved in the white nationalist movement, while detailing more particularly the life of Corinna Olsen, a former participant in the movement who now speaks out against it. Ms. Olsen’s case is used as an example of how people can end up in the movement more out of a longing for community than real anger and deep ideological convictions. Ms. Olsen was susceptible to specious and morally questionable arguments, and to working herself up into some real hate, but the driving force to her conversion seems to have been loneliness. Per Ms. Olsen she left the movement because she realized she could not accept the inherent violence; the author argues that some portion of Ms. Olsen’s disenchantment with the movement stemmed from it’s inability to provide her with a satisfying communal life.


Life is lonely and demeaning when you don’t got nobody and you ain’t no one. We all long for family, friends, a community of fellowship. All groups have some group-opinions, and generally members who too often range too far from those opinions often experience backlash and some level, however subtle, of ostracism. How hard it is to think and feel all that differently from those around you! Indeed, it cannot be fully accomplished. Even the most independent of thinkers can only push so far against the prevailing norms of their circles.

Where can one go to find community? Where does one find and connect with friends? Work. Church. Family. Activist & political organizations. Art collectives. Bars, coffee shops, diners, and other local hang-outs.

How does one build real and abiding friendships? Only souls well versed in loving know how to be true friends to themselves and others. Therefore, the best communities for creating and sustaining abiding and uplifting friendships are ones focused primarily on the selfless love that accepts and uplifts everyone.

We should work to make ourselves wiser. Part of this effort includes seeking relationships that are mutually spiritually empowering, and part of that effort includes seeking out groups and organizations where the emphasis is on kindness. Sometimes people will argue that kindness includes rejecting some people. This is a mistake. Kindness is exactly what we all deep inside know it to be: the insight that we are all in this together and must be gentle with ourselves and all others: the insight that Pure Love is Real and everything else is only real to the degree it partakes of Pure Love.

God, please help us!

Authors: BW/AW
Copyright: AMW

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